Friday, 14 September 2018

FictionTake 001 (Teen motivation) - Peer Pressure

                              It was my usual day to college and I had to catch my usual bus number eleven at 8.30. It was the time I thought of my future. It was the time I enjoyed the most, the bus ride to and fro to college and back. I watched the world scurry around and I seemed to be the most wealthy with lots of time on hand. I was a Grad student of English Literature in a Government college (in India except for a few premier institutes most of the Govt. colleges in tier two and three cities are impoverished in terms of facilities). I was one of the toppers in class and fairly had anything to worry about at all, except for the fact that my dad was almost broke and I could not afford to attend an elite institute. I did not mind as far as I got to study. I tutored school dropouts for my expenses and I was happy, as I dreamed a lot. I was a dreamer and was super confident about myself being a career woman some day. That was a day I will remember because that's when I understood that being educated, confident and  beautiful with devil may care attitude can be killed with an inferiority complex. A minor dose of it is more than lethal.
                               I had this friend who would follow me wherever I went. She was from a trading community and always had enough pocket money to spend on whatever she fancied. Whereas I never had pockets to carry money( another issue altogether...dint need it either as I dint spend on tom-boyishness considered it all silly) She would grab every chance to snub me and have her way. She would sneak away with her boyfriend and expect me to protect her for which er gratitude is still pending.   One day she planned going to our classmate's wedding and asked me to join her. I told her that it was a school day and I dint want to miss classes. But she convinced me finally. You know girls...they start about the dress. So to encourage her I said we should wear something grand...out of sheer enthusiasm. At that point pat came the snub..."What do you have? You have nothing." All you got is a denim skirt with four or five tops to go with it and you have been wearing them for years. Tears stung my eyes and at that very moment the bus arrived before anyone could see my tears I had to clamor into the crowded bus with my friend.
                              I mean I knew that.... and I knew I could not afford a dress but I did not realize it was important. I thought going to a longtime friend's wedding and meeting some school friends was more significant. I had not ruminated on what people would think of what I wear. My friend's unruly comment shocked me and I felt destroyed. I told my mother about it and she promised me a dress as if that would make things better. I had to fight my own battles. Now I understood what peer pressure was. I suddenly understood why I did not have many friends. That was because I did not give into peer pressure. After many days of pondering the incident still had its effect but it helped me realize that I was different... unique. I was mature way beyond my years as I understood life's problems at its worst. Years later , I am now proud that I did things my way and have been instrumental in my family's well being . I also learnt a major lesson that day, to keep toxic people at an arm's length. 
                             Guess what... I still have the denim skirt... and that friend of mine is still a friend(well she is a changed woman now). I think that's an achievement. So my young friends keep your head high no matter what, enjoy your student days and learn from your inconveniences.
                             So now I am all set out to send the denim skirt to that friend of mine for a Ya Ya Sisterhood of the traveling skirt 😉😉😉- style and would wait for its return.


Wednesday, 12 September 2018

Down the memory lane

Gone are those days of innocence
When happiness  seemed to stay.
Nobody cares a tuppence,
For all the little delights of a child;
Like catching fireflies,
Chasing the rabbits in the wild,
The summer swings at our granpa’s,
Racing down the slides
Like eagles swooping down
And emerging like phoenixes of renewed vigour
Climbing back to the top, only
To slide down with an uproar and glee.
Then comes a time when,
Children are lost in the grind.
These happy souls forget to laugh
Happy giggles are burnt at stake 
That’s  diplomacy and attitude they say
They become social animals,
their uproar and glee,
Is never for a good reason;

              (written for NGPIT magazine 2015)

Monday, 10 September 2018

The Hated one

If I did get a chance I would relive every moment 
Gladly would  I spend with you,dear beloved
Another lifetime in utter joy  hand in  hand,   
And never leave your side henceforth 
Chances are but hard to fetch
With the highest rates of missing them 
Hate myself for losing the only chance 
Of a lifetime of companionship 
Blaming myself for no fault of mine 
Ends not... the pain 
O Kindred one I would forgive you 
For the departure premature
Only if you tell me why you
Dare not fight death 
Like a hermit detached 
Forsaken your beloved's existence 
Answer me or let me be pained with your negligence. 
Let me hate you for your unfeeling 
Hate you for your ignorance 
But in the end such despise 
Ends not... the pain 
And in my hate my love grows 

Life's Hard

Life's hard and hard times don't last 
Truth lasts 
Hard work lasts 
Love lasts 
Memories last
All the other things reign but don't last 

Sunday, 9 September 2018

The Elusive One

To her happiness is a misty dream
Of her beloved wearing his best smile
Calling out her name on a day warm
As she makes her way toward
The distance seemed miles
I could hear him say
That I need to stay
I need to be happy
But happiness is elusive
Happiness is love.

Saturday, 8 September 2018

My Beloved's Voice

The voice that haunts me
In the music I hear 
The voice that haunts me
In my dreams clear
The voice that haunts me
Through our children dear
He still loves me
Pledges to stay in my heart forever more.
All the songs he sang 
Resonated from his core 
No pretense or hyperbole 
As gentle and sweet as a foal. 

Saturday, 18 August 2018

The Love lives on...

The sky's breaking up mimicking my grief 
The rain poured, my pain brimmed 
And tears plunged unto the pillow 
They had no fear of drying up. 
Nor did the raindrops fear the swell 
The clouds are ceaseless and cry their fill 
Until the sky shines brightly and so will I.
The clouds walk with me like my beloved 
Never leaving my side hovering round 
Unseen on  brighter days consoling on the darker 
His soft murmurs I alone hear 
The love lives on...